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simtarts
| Week One |
Our first week at the Group Hug Group Home was fraught with the drama of pants-wetting and sushi-sleeping. Many mental breakdowns were had, but nevertheless, new friendships were forged. Some of our residents got particularly close, and thanks to ACR and Risky WooHoo,
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charterzard's Appomattox August sperminated upendoaushi's Justice Corporate. 
Like most pregnant women, Justice has much to say about her delicate condition.
Justice: My back hurts all the time, and I keep having to pee. Also, I have really bad gas. The kind that could clear a room in the Grand Canyon. And speaking of canyons, my "area" down there is looking sort of...weird. The topography has definitely changed, if you know what I mean. It's like a glacier came through and rearranged everything. I think I might have a hemorrhoid. Sigh. *sad face*
Niamh: Thanks a lot. You've made me lose my appetite FOREVER.
Niamh is by
keoni_chan!
Oh look!
jens_sims' Richard Gust is either distressed at the news of Justice's shifting topography, or something else has given him cause to cry.Richard: My-my-myyy haaair!
Oh, erm, looks like I accidentally deleted a hair mesh. But don't worry, that maxis-made pompadour suits you.
Richard: It...it does?
Sure it does. *pats him on his little pompadour* Actually, I'm too lazy to give you a makeover right now. Thems the breaks...sorry! Though this does remind me that I never did provide stats for all of our residents. Let's do that now, shall we?
needlecream
lil_pixiedevil
boolpropbea
dorkasaur_sims
Still feeling distraught over his new hair-don't, Richard acts out by setting his breakfast on fire. It reminds me of how my male cat pees on something whenever I rearrange the furniture.
Now, here's where I cheat
Though there was a little psychological death.
Richard: I don't wanna be a hero! The pay is horrible...no benefits, either..
The drama took a toll on the mother-to-be, too.
Justice: Augh! I just woke up and I'm hungry but I don't want to eat because I'll end up fat, like Niamh!
Eight: LOL you're about to die of hunger.
Niamh isn't actually fat, but as a former supermodel, Justice has rigid standards and raging body dysmorphia.
Justice: Also, I think my water just broke!
Appomattox: Can you wait a sec, honey? We'll call a repairman to fix your water but right now I really gotta win this pillow fight!
So, if you've never played one before, Asylums breed pillow fights like trash breeds flies. They often take place in the most inconvenient places, too; like in the hallway directly in front of the bathroom.
Everyone else runs in because OMG! Baby is coming!
Appomattox: Have fun... I'm outta here.
Haha, he seriously just wandered off, totally uninterested.
Justice: Here, take...this. I need to run out back and hose off my lady parts. There are noxious green fumes wafting from them.
The baby is a boy with Justice's hair and eyes, but darker skin that pays homage to Appomattox' proud Greek heritage. His name is Jareth.
Baby Jareth's arrival brings some new change to the household. One of the beds got deleted so that there was space for a crib.
And the upstairs toilet was replaced with a training potty. Fewer places for our residents to poop and sleep! And for this particular update, I will be rewarding the residents for autonomously caring for the baby.
Remember how, in the last update, Stanwick and Niamh had a photobooth fling? Well, it looks like they've taken things to the next level. In the grand tradition of our Group Hug Group Home residents, they make out after they've already done the woohoo.
Who dares to steal Richard's copy of The Sim-Street Journal? Seriously, he's the only one who reads the newspaper. He's got to keep an eye on his stocks.
It's Tarsus! By
telectroscope
Can you guess what this line-up is for? It's not for the toilet, for once...nope, it's the queue for the crib. This baby will definitely not go ignored. Notice that Justice isn't in the picture? I'm pretty sure she was still out back, hosing off her lady parts.
Romance sims always seem to make for sweet and attentive parents, and Nikou is no different.
Nikou: He...he leaked on me!
Yeah, they do that. Don't worry, it's considered good luck!
(I don't think that she believed me.)
It's a
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pixel_trade walk-by! Nebula by radiationpoison.Nebula: Where am I?
You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! And you're gonna dieeee!
(Name that reference!)
Jasper Endymion by
simtopi swings by, too. It looks like he joined the hottest new-wave band in town, Hair Like Seagulls. 
Back in the house, Appomattox is looking suspiciously sheepish in the kitchen.
What's up, kiddo?
Appomattox: Maybe we should call a repairman. I think my water just broke...
...That is not "broken water."
The mailman does not approve of Richard wandering outside to panhandle in his pajamas.
Mailman: At least put on some real pants first! Out in the sunlight those jammies are dangerously sheer! I can practically see your nipples!
Or, alternately, the mailman is just yelling at Summerica Julyard (
pinkposeysims) for stealing the paper. She's in no hurry to run away with it, however.
Richard was panhandling for a LONG time. Long enough for
slyndsey's Jeanette Love to stroll by. Check out that face - so cute! 
Self-sim: Why I am in this update? And why am I holding this?
Someone has to grow the kid up, and we're it.
Okay everyone, don't pee yourselves in excitement all at once.
Toddlerfied Jareth! Future Goblin King, ya think?
I myself think he looks a lot like his mother.
Ages after the candles have been blown out, Appomattox wanders in and starts tooting his party horn, all by his lonesome. It was hilarious. I'm not sure he could fail any harder if he tried!
Oh.
Seriously?
But he's not the only one having difficulties now that there's only one toilet. Albina nearly floods the bathroom, and as usual Eight is nearby,
Check out Jareth as he books it out of there to avoid the puddle. Smart kid.
Richard is deeply embarrassed by his lack of bladder control. He blames his new hair-don't.
But he feeds Jareth autonomously, so he's not a complete fail!
Appomattox is a little too busy doing this to feed his child.
Bah, the fortune sims' aspiration animations are sooo annoying. It seems like they take up several sim hours to complete. Fortune sims also seem to have the worst time of it in an asylum challenge; popularity sims, on the other hand, do just fine.
Appomattox: It's so filthy in here! Filthy counters, filthy female body, naked as it washes itself with a festering sponge...
Eight: *stalks* I think her female body looks just fine, filthy or otherwise.
Albina: Um, do you guys mind? I'm kind of...*looks down* conducting a little examination here.
Albina rarely manages to bathe herself, but she does bathe Jareth. And breaks the plumbing in the process. :/
She's almost always in her underwear, too. Is this something lazy/sloppy sims do? Or is it because underwear is one of her turn-ons? Hm.
They ran out of food while my self-sim was at work. Luckily, Richard remembered the bar. But...er, might want to watch your fingers there, Richard.
Richard: I'm in the mood for a bloody mary.
The reason they ran out of food was probably because of the CONSTANT stream of bottles being removed from the fridge.
Oh, hi Albina. Nice to see you fully dressed for once.
I had to delete the jukebox to buy their food. They got a crappy little radio to replace it. Predictably, the fortune sims were not happy.
Appomattox: You got rid of the jukebox for food, but this crappy little radio is not food! It's not even edible!
Richard: This table is covered in spray paint! It needs to be washed! And...so do I!
I caught Nikou sleeping with her eyes open. And smiling maniacally in her sleep. I'm not sure which was creepier.
She continues to be helpful, however. Sort of. I really wish they would just figure out how to CHANGE DIAPERS. Bathing a poop-smeared toddler is yet another one of those things that seems to take several sim hours.
Being a family sim, Stanwick seems to genuinely enjoy bath time with Jareth. Either that or he's a pedo. :(
Stanwick: I am not a pedo. I am a strong, sturdy man with a nurturing streak that I hide from the world, because the world is not ready for a man who is both strong yet nurturing.
Stanwick still emanates quiet wisdom, too, if you were wondering.
His basic needs are taken care of, but Jareth still cries a lot because he's in aspiration failure.
It makes me feel bad. :( I wish his parents would tickle him or talk to him once and a while.
Instead, his father has taken to huffing him.
Appomattox: I'm tripping.
I really wish you wouldn't. No one knows what the long-term side effects of toddler-huffing are. Your balls might retreat into your body, or you might lose all your chest hair...oh wait, too late for that.
Appomattox: Uh-oh. I can't tell if this is a good trip or a bad trip. Are those flowers on the wall supposed to be singing? Am I supposed to see the face of Zeus in that wall sconce?
No. No you are not.
Haha, his expression cracks me up. He looks so embarrassed! Don't worry, Jareth, everyone here wets themselves, and they're all fully grown.
Oh hi, Justice! So, you're still alive.
Justice: I was upstairs practicing my "blue steel" pose in the mirror, but I couldn;t concentrate because of its stench.
"Its" stench? That's your child.
Justice: Whatever. Show me the DNA test, Maury!
When she thinks I'm not looking, though, I catch her being sweet with him.
Justice: He's not so bad when he smells nice!
They were really low on funds, so I figured that it was time to make some "family friends" so that my self-sim could finally get a promotion. As such, all of the walk-bys from earlier were invited over for a party.
Albina showers them with hospitality. Literally.
Summerica: *poke* I can't believe you brought me here! There's no food, no keg...not even a D.J.! What about my needs?
Tarsus: Lady, I don't even know you...
So, either Jasper is a ladies man or Jeanette is a groupie for his band, Hair Like Seagulls.
Summerica: Slut...
Yeah, Jasper is a ladies man. After snogging Jeanette he hits on my self-sim. She didn't seem to object, though.
Erm...okay, Summerica, you go ahead and leave. Palma Violet (by
wanderingjasper) wasn't even invited. How did she get here? But yes, this is no place for a child...Oh, wait. Jareth lives here, doesn't he? Er...whoops.
How does "not bad" = "fantastic time?"
These people aren't as hard to please as I remember.
Eight: Oh, ew. Don't look behind you, but Stanwick's naked on the bed. Ugh, his junk is so weird...all smooth and molded, like a Ken doll's!
Nikou: And yours isn't?
Eight: No way, baby! Wanna see...?
Nikou: No, I'll take your word for it.
If you're wondering why Nikou, the romance sim, hasn't hooked up with anyone yet, here's why:
She's a lesbian! And she's attracted to Justice and Niamh, who are, unfortunately, straight. :(
Does this count as passing out? I think it does.
This definitely does.
Richard: I'd like to do some traveling someday. Maybe to somewhere cool, but kind of tropical....like a plate of ceasar salad, for example.
Albina: Zzzz I heamrd thatt.
Eeee! It's the dancing baby from the early 2000s!
Actually, it's just Jareth's birthday. But the toddler's bodies are really weirdly proportioned, aren't they?
He still looks like his mother! He's got her distinctive, petite nose, and almond-shaped eyes. His mouth might be more like Appomattox', though.
Niamh voluntarily reads to him. She has no job, so it's the only birthday present she can give him.
Niamh: And then, your father missed the toilet yet AGAIN.
Appomattox: *from the bed* Zzzz I heamrd thatt.
Jareth: This birthday story sucks.
I bought a lemonade stand because I realized that I've never had one in-game before. Jareth immediately trots outside and starts selling his wares.
Jareth: Fresh lemonade! Juice of lemons, sour and tart on a hot, hot day! Fresh ade of lemon for you, Miss?
Niamh: Will it get you to stop yelling in a cockney accent?
Some
pixel_trade folks show up for refreshments. Here's Minnie, by erykahfairy.
And Mark, by
radiationpoison.Mark: This stuff looks like cat pee.
Yeah, well, they're both yellow. Congratulations on learning your colors.
With all the Group Hug Group Home residents buying lemonade, too, Jareth's business is a raging success and he's soon sold out of drinks.
He's also an impeccably neat child.
Nikou: Oh dear, he might not do so well in this household of slobs.
Appomattox: Make...him...stop! He's eating chips like a fussy girl!
Oh, don't be so hard on him. There are worse things he could do.
Like, say, miss the toilet by a mere foot!
Appomattox: My water broke again! Not my fault! Call a repair man...
Jareth hasn't fallen asleep in his food yet, either.
Check out Albina, letting out a pants-shredding fart in Appomattox' direction. Classy lady!
Albina: Anyone order a wake-up call?
Albina: *wanders in, hours later* Oh, you're still passed out in here?
Nope. That's a new bowl, a new meal, and whole new food-nap.
Which leaves us at the end of Week Two, and with a whole new point-tally. Remember that the sims with the MOST points are the ones who are failing the hardest. Sims get points when they do things like pass out, wet themselves, go into aspirational failure, etc. They can "work off" points by showing their Independence: taking care of Jareth (without being asked for something by him), serving group meals, picking up a kicked-over trash can, etc.
Appomattox: 9
Eight: 2
Richard: 2
Justice: 0
Albina: 0
Niamh: -1
Nikou: -1
Stanwick: -2
*Thank you* to everyone who left comments last time! I'm really glad you enjoyed this and that you had fun seeing your sims either flounder or flourish in the Group Hug Group Home. Two weeks to go!
Featuring sims by
boolpropbea, lil_pixiedevil, needlecream, jens_sims, keoni_chan, upendoaushi, charterzard, and dorkasaur_sims.With cameos from sims by
pinkposeysims, telectroscope, radiationpoison, erykahfairy, slyndsey, wanderingjasper, and simtopi.