simtarts

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Warnings/bonuses: foul language and same-sex flirting

Last time on the Coffy Legacy, Marcus fulfilled his long-term want, and Foxy
gave birth to a boy, Marlon, and a girl, Audrey, and became preggers with the
third and last child. Al began fighting with Chloe Gonzaga on a regular basis,
while simultaneously lusting after her. There was a social-bunny visit and
many cases of heat stroke.

And we'll burst right out of the gate with Miss Pam going perma-plat! And
good timing, too, because she's just two days away from elder-hood and I'd
prefer not to have to worry about her wants during the "depends" years.

Al and Chloe Gonzaga have taken up full-time residence inside the ball of
dust (no relation to ball of stink). Seriously, they fight so much that
I don't even bother taking pictures of it, most of the time. If they're not
in some of these pictures, assume they're off killing each other somewhere.

Foxy is supremely tired of being pregnant, and she's really not on top of
things this go around. She was both starving and sleep-deprived, so she'd
conk out, wake up and eat a few bites, then conk out again. It kept her alive
but she sure wasn't happy about it.

People would not stay the hell out of the nursery, so I locked it.

And then they bitched about how they couldn't get in. Grr, I really need
to get that "no baby harass" hack or whatever it's called.

Quick as can be, it's time for Audrey to age from an infant to a child.

Marcus has tossing duties. He's well-seasoned at it by now.

Oh lolol. She aged into a little old woman!

Better! Though I suspect her face will have to grow into that chin.

She looks like Miss Pam to me, actually, but a shade lighter.

This is Foxy's first autonomous interaction with any of her children.

Foxy: Kick Mommy's stomach, sweetie! I want the other one out NOW!

Al is always getting the flu, even though there haven't been any
roaches or anything lately. Is this some karmic side-effect of working
the criminal career path?

The day after Audrey's birthday, Marcus comes home and gets fat. He is
a gamer, so he probably eats cheetoes and drinks slurpees all day while
sitting on his ass

He also gets old.

Hellloooooo Professor. I think he's a cute elder! He looks like the kind
of old dude who still smokes pot and watches a whole lotta porn.

And has a whole lotta sex. Miss Pam doesn't mind his saggy bod at all.

With Audrey, I let Miss Pam have a crack at all the training duties. It's
still just her and Marcus rolling the wants to teach Audrey anything.

Foxy: Oh, thank fuck!

Yes, you have fuck to thank for getting you into this situation.

It's a girl, with some kind of light skin that's still darker than Foxy's,
Marcus' grey eyes, and black hair. Her name is Vivian.
I like how Genesis Lam and Miss Pam are super stoked while Foxy looks
like she's chewing on a building rage. Also, how funny that Miss Pam
is always in formalwear when there's a birth, eh? I think I was trying
to do her founder portrait yet again.

After tucking Vivian into her crib, Miss Pam gets old.

She's really lost some of her fierceness. :/ I might have to try to
download her some better elder duds.

Remember how I said that Chloe Gonzaga could be kept around for future
generations as a zombie-nanny? Well, she sucks almost as badly as the real
nannies.

Look, don't pee on the baby, okay?

I got her this far away before she let loose a waterfall. A virtual
niagara falls.

Al thinks she looks hot while failing at nanny duties. Sick. O.

Yay, I'm excited to have a new child in the house! Especially since Marlon
is boring, if you couldn't tell from the complete absence of him from this update
so far!

She's cute! But maybe that's cos I like big, expressive features.
And lol, if you can't tell in the background, Vivian also grew up into
a toddler. Sorry to leave a peek of the temporal adjuster in the shot.

Vivian is also really cute. Marlon doesn't stand a chance.

Audrey, however, is awesome.

Marcus: hmmm...I sense that the fierce is strong with this one.

Here's Miss Pam in new old lady threads. Looking spiffy, eh?

And now, I give you a montage that pretty much sums up the childrens'
personalities:

I hate dis powtty

I hate this piano!

(PS mittens? Yur doing it wrong)

MOTHERFUCKIN' I HATE THIS VIDEO GAME!111!!!

:D

Just another picture to show off how cute Vivian is! I could just eat her
up with a soup spoon, omanomanoma.

And hey, let's do another montage, shall we? I call this one "Al: Portrait(s)
of a Serial Killer"

"I'm gonna eat your liver with fava beans and chianti!"

"Yo Gonzaga, you better get ready, because at 3 o'clock today, I'm gonna RAPE YOU."

"Hello ~~Clarice~~ Audrey."

"LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME. Y. SO. SRS?"

The end. You may now return to your happy place.

Audrey has a bajillion active points and always wants to play catch and marco
polo and crap like that. Unfortunately, she only has Marlon to play with.

He throws a pretty mean ball. Also, hello gap teeth! I didn't notice
you before!

Okay, I just said that you had a bajillion active points and now you're
lounging around like a swiss duchess, making me look like a liar. How dare you.

Time for Marlon to grow up and use his teen years for something other than
being boring, I hope.

He's got the same droopy good looks that Maggie Gyllenhall has.

Eeeesh! I think he may also have his father's serial killer eyes! Oh, and
as you can see I didn't bother with much of a makeover. He gets an "M' sweater.
M is for murder.

OMG DEAD FROM CUTE.

I have no idea if she was playing or eating. Knowing Chloe Gonzaga's nannying
skillz, she was likely eating.

When she's not forced to survive on dog food, Vivian's having these two
retards fight right on top of her, same as they did to baby Audrey.

OW.

Vivian slept right through it, though who knows how.

She's the only toddler I've ever had who walks around like she's about
to burst into tears, though! Emo-toddler?

Speaking of emo, Foxy's aspiration has dropped pretty far due to my completely
ignoring her wants, which are all stupid anyway, like "call someone" for 100
pts, which is barely a drop in the bucket.

Let's save Vivian from her hell of a toddler-hood, shall we?

5

She's got a mini-cheering squad going on!

Nawwwww, she's adorable! Quite bushy eyebrows, but if Madonna doesn't let
Lourdes wax her brow, neither shall Foxy allow Vivian.

While also adorable, Audrey is a demon spawn who doesn't nerd it up on the chess
table or the piano. Instead, she jumps on beds and splashes on puddles.

Sigh.

Foxy: You are alien demon spawn! Alien demon spawn, I say! Now let
me on that videogame!

Despite having a bajillion active points of her own, Vivian prefers to play
with her barbie dream house. Also I have no idea what that black thing is
in the background. Huh!

So one night, Chloe Gonzaga was sleeping, which meant that Al didn't have
anything to do. So he ended up being the first family member to fish in
the pond.

This brings new meaning to "boot up the ass," doesn't it? Seriously, as soon
as I unpaused it disappeared right up his tan track, smooth as butter.

Al still prefers beatin' on Chloe Gonzaga to fishing, but poor Vivian has 10 nice
points and falls apart when there's a fight. :(

She even felt sorry for Chloe Gonzaga and hugged her afterwards! Chloe has
NEVER accepted a hug from anyone, but she accepted Vivians! And ever since then
she's had "be best friends with Vivian" in her wants panel.

Vivian doesn't play favorites and also cheers up her Dad after the fight (even
though he won, as usual). Chloe Gonzaga looks as if she approves of this
father-daughter interaction, but she actually had "attack" in her queue.
She attacks Al as often as he attacks her, after all, but instead of looking
evil before she attacks, she smiles creepily like that. D:

OMG, why is Miss Pam crying?

Because Vidcund Curious caught her peeking at him through the telescope!
He does not appreciate being spied on when he's whacking off to back issues
of Discover magazine.

Oh, wow.
I know of a club you should join, Vidcund.
And Al is the president.
It's called "Loving the Women We Love to Make Cry"

Other than this low point, Miss Pam is a pretty kickin' elder.
She spends a lot of time gossiping in her grannie panties.

And bitching at Chloe Gonzaga for being an unemployed layabout.

And making teenage boys cry.
(Oh hi, Edgar! Foxy's older half-brother is still a teen, yep.)

And farting, then blaming it on Chloe Gonzaga.

Miss Pam: Whhhat? I'm not the stinky corpse around here, she is!

In other words, she's pretty much the kind of old woman I desperately hope
to be someday.

The girls auto-danced to their father's piano playing. It was so cute. I
love the spazzy, uncoordinated dancing that sim children do.

It's time for Audrey to kiss childhood behind, though!

She's a skater-girl, as you can see. I'm also quite certain that she's
something of a ladies-lady. The other high school girls probably call her
"the confuser," because she makes them question their heterosexuality
for the very first time. :D

Also, lol at Chloe Gonzaga eating her own hand in the background.

Vivian: MARCO POLO! 8D

Whooooops, we interrupt this bit of Vivian spam to show you that Foxy is
pretty close to a mental breakdown.

I sent Audrey in to play with her, since one of Foxy's new wants is to be
Audrey's best friend. It figures that she hasn't thought about being her
friend until now, when it suits her lowly state of aspiration.

Foxy should be more concerned about her chimo co-worker, who is currently
watching Vivian through her bedroom window with a creepy intensity. D:
Really, every time he comes home with Foxy, he hangs around Vivian! Yuck.

For some reason, Chloe Gonzaga got it in her head to start shit with Audrey.
Can adults actually fight teens? I know she definitely poked her, at the
very least.

The untrained eye might think Al is gallantly stepping in to defend his
daughter. But the untrained eye would be wrong - he just doesn't want
anyone beating on Chloe Gonzaga other than himself.

Audrey wanted SOME kind of action, so I decided to chance the gypsy after
a long hiatus.

A vintage beauty! Well, sort of. She'll do for a one-off, anyway.

Audrey: So get this, gurl. I just bought a new porsche today - what kind
of air freshner do you think I should get for it, cherry or vanilla?*
Girl: Swooooon!

*The above is a real pick-up line that was used successfully by my sister. XD

Audrey: That's right, give the A-team some sugar-sugar.

Marcus: Hmmm, is that my grand-daughter getting her breast fondled?
How remarkable!

Audrey clearly possesses a bangin' rack beneath that baggy tee.

Both Marlon and Audrey wanted a puppy, and since Marlon was dipping into the
red, I had him call up the adoption place.
The puppy's name is Manny, and since Cleo's cat is Fran, all I need is another
pet (preferably a grouchy cat) named Bernard to have the whole cast of
Black Books!

Ever wonder what it feels like to be up to the eyes in doggy chow?
Ask Manny!

Vivian is doted on like crazy by her grandparents. She's their little gem.

But it's time for her to grow up!

She has a giant cheering squad gathered round for the event.

She's really cute. How will I ever choose between her and A-Team Audrey?

Holy shit. O_O

Marcus: Hmm, that reminds me, your grandmother and I have a program on
skinemax to watch...it's about hot sibling three-way action. *wanders off*

Vivian: I can't believe she noogied me right into your lower intestine,
Marlon! Can you believe it? D8

Audrey's "look": *Say you didn't mind, Marlon. Say you didn't mind.*
Marlon: Er...I dunno, Viv - I didn't mind!

Vivian has no choice but to walk around on the verge of tears, just
as she did when she was a toddler!

And that's it for this update! Thanks for reading and I hope you had a great
new year!