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| Week One | Week Two | Week Three |

**warnings for pixel nudity, off-color humor, and language**



Welcome back to the Group Hug Group Home! Stanwick (by [personal profile] needlecream) would like to extend to you a very hospitable fart, fresh and warm, straight from his cute lil' butt.

Actually, he looks a little embarrassed. Perhaps he was getting to his feet to wave hello and oops, it slipped out.



That's right, Deirdre (by [profile] katu_sims); as you pass the Group Hug Group Home you'd be quite wise to hold your breath. It's ripe and gamey on the premises!



As if to prove my point, Justice (by [profile] upendoaushi) piddles on the floor, nearly dousing her bare toes. It's possible that ever since she gave birth her bladder can't hold much more than thimble-full of liquid. The same thing happened to my Mom, and she was one of those people who, right when we were all set to head to the car, would yell out "I better go to the bathroom first!" and scurry upstairs, holding us all up.

It was a bit annoying, but I can safely say she never watered the kitchen floor.

Justice: "Hey...quit bragging!"



Personally, I still think her baby daddy, Appomattox (by [profile] charterzard) has rubbed off on her. Their son Jareth still regularly congratulates Appomattox for being the unrivaled King of Pissy Pants.

Oh, and in case you've lost count, the number of times that he's had an accident is well into the double digits by now. He cares not - he's a Greek shipping heir with eyes the color of the Aegean sea, so he doesn't have to.



Selfsim: "Hey remember when you almost died? I saved your life and it was so cool...but if you had died, that might've been cool too, because then you would have come back as a GHOST, oooh!"
Nikou: "Erm, if you say so?"

Yes, in week three, Nikou (by [profile] lil_pixiedevil) died of heat stroke, but my selfsim saved her in the nick of time (despite the fact they weren't friends).



Niamh: Hey, I heard you kicked the Grim Reaper's ass! Way to go...but don't forget what the old celtic folk ballad says: 'You may be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper!'"
Nikou: *thinks* Folk ballad? Isn't that a quote from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?

Yes, it is! The finest Celtic folk ballad I know. And Niamh comes to us courtesy of [profile] keoni_chan



Niamh is also in love with Stanwick, and he's in love with her. Nevertheless, this doesn't stop Stanny from attempting to hit on my Simself in her presence. Niamh's too busy trying to get around Eight (by [profile] boolpropbea) on the stairs to notice.

Too bad, as I think I would get perverse pleasure in seeing my Simself slapped. I still haven't forgiven her for doing something so uncharacteristic as to talk to other sims about MATH, of all things. My real-self would never talk about math! I know, I know...that was way back in week one and I should've gotten over it by now, but what can I say? I cling to grudges the way moss clings to rocks, or pre-teens cling to their Beiber Fever.



Soooo....for something completely different!

Since the girls got to experience lycanthropy last week, I thought that this week, one of the boys would get to experience the joys of mother(father?)hood.



As you can see, this is a completely different night, and that's because on the first night, no one was abducted. These hacked telescopes don't work very well, despite being a promising shade of hot-pink (aliens love hot-pink, poptarts, and hello kitty). I demand a refund!



Uh-oh! Don't go into the light, Stanwick!

Appomattox: Uh-oh, he isn't dressed for this journey at all! He'll catch his death in the cold vacuum of space...

Yes, he will catch his death, but mostly because it's sort of impossible to breathe in the cold vacuum of space. Hopefully, that flying saucer is pressurized and stuff, and the "flight attendants" will cover him with one of those scratchy blankets and give him some pretzels, too.



Stanwick: "My. Arms. Are. Being. Wenched. From. Sockets. HALP!"

On the plus side, if he had a wedgie before, it is now gone. Probably.



Simself is INTENSELY interested in these goings-on, while Justice and Eight flail behind her. Up in the window, Albina (by [profile] dorkasaur_sims) takes a shower, exhibitionist style. Girl proves once again she's got no qualms being seen naked.



Niamh: Ohmygod, my beloved!

Don't believe that little act for a second. In the tradition of all knowledge sims, she was super-excited about his abduction and kept rolling wants for a repeat kidnapping after he returned.

(Yes, I frequently ~peek~ at the non-playables wants. I'm a voyeur! I also like to dress them in humiliating bondage outfits that I have downloaded from various websites of ill-repute, but I keep those pictures for my private collection.)

(Just kidding! No...really, I am!)



Jareth wanders out to see what all the commotion is about, and decides it's a real good time for a PILLOW FIGHT PARTY.

I'm so sick of pillow fights. :| They are the primary means of entertainment in a house without television, computers, bubble-blowers, or swing-sets. Or jobs.



Re-entry into the Group Hug Group Home atmosphere! Please return to your seat, stow all carry-on items, and buckle up.



Why is everyone looking to the left of the flying saucer?

Albina: "There's a stray cat over yonder."

Oh, I see. How gripping.



Stanwick: *is unceremoniously tossed from the cargo hold*
Nikou: "Ohmygod DUCK! He's going to land on us!"
Jareth: "Watch out! Clear a nice patch of pavement for him to land on!"

Nice, guys.



Nikou: *claps politely* A reasonably good dismount, all things considered...
Jareth: *belly laugh* HAHA, I've seen bloated, two-toed sloths with more grace!
Justice: *is still ducking for her life*



Stanwick's dignity is bruised...and perhaps more. But since he is a man of few words, he does not complain.



Richard (by [profile] jens_sims) has the decency to ask him if he managed to make any little green friends during his trip across the stars.

Stanwick: "I would not call them friends."
Richard: "Acquaintances, then?"
Stanwick: "They became acquainted with...something. Yes."

Ouch.



Stanwick waits until he is alone, in private, to have his breakdown.

Let it all out, babydoll. Let your tears trickle down the drain like so much soap.



Here's a picture of Justice, farting at the table. You won't see that in the next issue of Vogue!

It's hard to believe she's a formerly uptight ex-model/ex-anorexic, isn't it? But then I remembered that being a werewolf changes a sim's personality and, sure, enough when I checked her stats I saw that Justice now has like 2 neat points instead of her original 7 or 8.



Justice: Eight, it would be awful if a baby showed up right now, don't you think?
Eight: Sure, I guess.

FORESHADOWING~! But Stanwick is oblivious.



Radon by [personal profile] xie_belle: Why isn't the lemonade stand open? I demand lemonade! I walked all the way out here into the middle of nowhere, now WHERE'S MY LEMONADE?

Sorry fella, that stand hasn't been in business since Jareth's first day as a child. And that piggy bank is empty, so don't even think about hiding under your tank top on your way off the lot.



Speaking of Jareth, he brings home this scarlet-eyed siren: Dorothy Donley by [personal profile] slyndsey. She likes, ahem, water ballons. She likes squeezing them, rubbing them, having them burst on her...you name it. She's a scandalous girl. How do I know this about her, you ask?



I know it because she tried to play porn director during Eight and Albina's sexytimes.

Dorothy: "A little to the left! Gyrate your hips more! Show a little PASSION, for cripes sake! I know you're sims, but your not mannequins!"
Eight and Albina: Ohmygod get out!



Stanwick has been spending quite a bit of time in the bathroom, but it's only to play in the bathtub. He's not showing any unusual symptoms. Nope, not at all.



Stanwick: "Excuse me, I feel distressed."

Oh really? Why is that?



Stanwick: My shirt just morphed into my navel. :D

Yeccch. Though I am quite happy to see that those trousers have a preggo morph!



Richard: I see that you are garbed in a new, loosely flowing top. What's with that?
Stanwick: It's to make room for my expanding bellah. Soon it'll be as round as a beach ball!
Richard: Good god, man! Ever heard of DIETING? In fact, isn't that the second dinner you've had tonight?

Richard has never heard of MPreg, I guess. He doesn't read enough Harry Potter slash-fic.



My selfsim has wet dreams about herself. God, she's so embarrassing. Is this how I would feel about my child, were I to have one? I probably shouldn't have one, then.



Stanwick doesn't really know HOW he ended up with the miracle of life inside his man-womb, but in the deep subconscious of his dreams, he seems to be working it out.

Stanwick: zzzZzz...tele..scope?



Stanwick: ZzzzZ...TELESCOPE!

Yup, he figured it out!



Richard was pretty nice to Jareth when he was a toddler/baby, but now that Jareth is a gossiping teen, he wants nothing to do with him.

Jareth: "Hey! Did you hear about--"
Richard: "Did you hear my back just now? It's saying 'look, my back is turned.' That's right, my BACK's back is turned. Try to get past that, blondie!"



Jareth: "Tell your back that I think he's a dick, DICK!"



Later, a game of red hands is soundly rejected. OOOH burn. Now Jareth probably has a red face. :( Red with anger or embarrassment - take your pick. Richard sure is haughty, though! Justice thinks it's kind of fierce. (Really. She blows hearts for him every once and awhile.)



Luckily, Justice is up for a good gossip. Especially when it's about her sweetie, Appomattox!

Justice: "LOL I know! I love him but he's the biggest fail-cake in the house BY FAR!"

You know... he hasn't peed the floor yet his week, unlike some people, Justice.



Albina: "I made foooood!" :D :D



Albina: "Come and get it! It's by my feet and by the garbage can." :D :D

Mmmm, appetizing!



Eight can smell those delicious pork chops all the way from the living room.

Eight: "I'm tripping right now."

It's a very special recipe.



Niamh: "Guess what, guys! I got Stanwick pregnant through risky woohoo! I'm going to be a father! Or does that make me the mother? Hahaha I don't even know!"
Albina: She's so cool. I hope she wants to have a pillow fight!

NO. :|



Richard: *thinks like a fortune sim* "You know, if all this nonsense is really true and Stanwick is going to have a baby, just think how much money he could get for it."
Niamh: "Money?" :O
Albina: PILLOW FIGHT?

NO. :|



Appomattox: *weeps* "How am I supposed to eat this plate of stink? I keep trying to cut off a bite of it but it just dissipates! And the fly won't hold still long enough for me to grab him with some chop-sticks!"

Neither Richard nor Nikou know how to react to this outburst..

Nikou: "We're just here to charge our comfort bars, lol!"



Speaking of comfort... this doesn't look like it. But he seems happy enough, despite the mis-shapen bellah.



Albina: "I made fooood!" :) :)

She's really trying to impress us tonight, and her timing is perfect, actually. Stanwick's hunger was deep in the red.



Stanwick: "It's like you can read my mind or have a crystal ball or something, because I was LITERALLY about to starve to death."



Albina: "That would suck. Don't starve to death, it's not cool." *chews soup*

Why do sims chew soup???

Albina: "Because this is really more of a chowder. It's practically a stew, but definitely more chowder-esque, if you want to get technical."



At some point, Justice and Appomattox realize that despite having created a new life together, they've never really been on a date. So they decide to sit down on the sofa and have a nice, long heart-to-heart.

Justice: How do you feel about BDSM? Whips, chains, bondage, that sort of thing. You might've noticed that my outfit has a subtle, strappy-dominatrix look to it. How does that make you feel?
Appomattox: I'm good with how it makes me feel. I really have no problem with humiliation at all. Actually, I kind of crave it!
Justice: That makes sense, now that I think about it, and think about you. Yes, it makes...a good deal of sense.

She's silently counting up the number of times he's peed/passed out and yes, the only logical conclusion is: bless his curly head, Appomattox is just a glutton for punishment!



Richard: "Hi there little baby! Hi there, you widdle freak of nature!"
Stanwick: "Please cease doing that, or I will apply my palm to you face with a great deal of force."

Stan is very protective of his bellah.



He doesn't mind if Richard tries to cheer him up, though. He's cranky and his needs are low and his back hurts. He just needs a bro-hug.



Jareth looks at Stanwick with disgust in his eyes now. He doesn't believe in the sanctity of alien-sim pollination.



Jareth: It's not that I'm against pollination, I just don't like to think about it when I'm eating, you know? I mean, where's the baby growing, somewhere in his intestines? And when he goes into labor, where's it gonna come out of? I mean, is he going to push it out his...his...oh god, Eight is standing there with his crotch in my face while I try to eat. AGAIN.

Being a teen is TUFF, you guys.



STOP DOING THIS. D:



Even Nikou is upset by the fact that my Selfsim has erotic Selfdreams. No, actually, I don't know why she was crying. There's just a lot of that going around right now. Lots of tears, wailing, and hand-wringing.



And if they're not crying, they're going crazy--more so than usual, even! Like good ol' Appomattox here, who has taken to looking at different bits of junk around the house until he practically busts a gut laughing.

Appomattox: "The planter has a face! A FACE! IT IS SUBLIMELY HILARIOUS HAHAHAHAH!"



Jolene by [profile] shelbster93! She's so cute and nerdy.



Not so cute on the other hand: starting fires and then pretending you didn't.

Justice: "Who left that pot on the stove? I think it's boiling over." :)



Post-fire party! The only party that is guaranteed to leave you feeling worse.



A naked, pregnant man is a beautiful thing.

Stanwick: If you're trying to offend me, it won't work.

I'm not! You just looked so deep in thought and it was kind of funn...you know, never mind. Go back to practicing your Lamaze breathing, big fella.



Oh, come on! Jareth?? You're starting to show that you've inherited your parents fail genes!



Everyone: "WAH! SO-AND-SO STINKS!!"

Oh, I'm SO sure the rest of you smell like kitten whiskers and rosy raindrops.



Selfsim was the only one in the house with a fear of fire, though. Hahaha. I laugh at her! Also, that psychiatrist-fan-thingy looks dangerous, like it could be used to chop off heads in Mortal Kombat.



Stanwick goes into labor just as Jareth decides to take a crap on the floor!

No, not really, Jareth is just getting a book. But it looks like he's crapping, doesn't it?

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled MPreg!

**several sim hours and a few cheats later**



This is Stan Two.

Let me explain.

See, as it turns out, the aliens didn't pollinate Stanwick, they implanted him with a female clone of himself!* And so now he has his own Mini-me. Her personality is different, but she's all STANWICK, all OVER.



Except her name is Stanasia.

Only I call her Stan Two. She's pretty cute. Who wouldn't want two Stanwicks in their 'hood, one of them a female?

With another baby in the house, I decided to extend the Asylum Challenge out for one more week to give her a chance to grown up before the "winner" is decided. So stay tuned for the REAL final week of the Group Hug Group Home!


*Haha, okay, so my Multi-PT hack failed because it was conflicting with a "females get pollinated too" hack that I had. By the time I figured the whole thing out Stanwick had already given birth and I had already saved it. Whoops! Kinda disappointing to not have an alien baby, but the concept of Stan Two kind of cracks me up, so I'm not too bothered by it. It'll all work out!


POINT TOTALS*

Appomattox: 18 (He didn't gain any points this time! Wow!)
Justice: 11
Richard: 6
Stanwick: 3
Nikou: 3
Eight: 3
Niamh: 1
Albina: -2 (Miss Albina is really coming on like a dark horse now)

**Remember, higher the score, the higher the fail! It's like golf; the lower the score, the better.



Featuring sims by [profile] boolpropbea, [profile] lil_pixiedevil, [personal profile] needlecream, [profile] jens_sims, [profile] keoni_chan, [profile] upendoaushi, [profile] charterzard, and [profile] dorkasaur_sims.

With cameos from sims by [personal profile] xie_belle, [profile] katu_sims, [personal profile] slyndsey, and [profile] shelbster93

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