simtarts

I've had some difficulties cross-posting from DW to LJ, so I've decided to just make my updates to LJ, and then copy/paste them here, later. A bit graceless, but seems the best solution for now.

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LAST TIME... founder Albina Knickers, courtesy of

dorkasaur_sims married Eight August, by

boolpropbea. Neither of them seemed to remember their previous romance in the Group Hug Group Home, nor how many times they wet their pants while living there. They both got jobs in their chosen career paths (music and law), had sex on the front lawn for the whole town of Crumpleville to see. Because this is a sim-centric legacy and exhibitionism is what they demanded. Albina then gave birth to twin boys, Augustine and Bastian.

Rice, by

xie_belle, is our first

pixel_trade walkby of the day. She appears to approve of the hole-digging dog.

Inside the house, however, celebrations are taking place. It's time for the twins to stop being boring infants! First Augustine.

Then Bastian, who gets to grow up whilst swaddled inside a poopy diaper. Fun!

Bastian, who immediately knows how to secure his father's attention by demanding a story.

Augustine, who is bald and likes it.

Auggie: "Just like Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson!"

They're cute but they seriously look like monkeys. It's the Michelle* curse.

*Michelle, from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion: Oh, yeah? Well I hope your babies look like monkeys!"

I'll admit that I about died when I saw this expression on Bastian's face, though. Why so cute, why?

Neither Eight nor Albina want to change diapers (they both fear it), so a Nanny is hired. She's surprisingly competent.

And sooooo pretty. She doesn't look at day over 30, either. Above the neck, anyway.

Oh, and let us not forget the weekly challenge!

Roll 3-2: Repo! The Genetic Opera: Pay no bills for the entirety of the week. Say hello to the Repo man!

As you can see from the trail of bills, they've been at this for a few days.

Both Albina and Eight are also wracking up the promotions. Even though they rarely roll the want to skill, I'm making them skill because both of their life-time wants are dependent on reaching the top of their career ladders.

Eight: Check out my potty-training pout...

Most sims make goofy faces when they potty-train, but not Eight. He practices his "blue-steel" modeling pose, instead.

Success! Or...FAIL! Depending on how you look at it, I guess!

The computer?! D: Surely they don't owe THAT much. They have energy-saving solar panels!

Oh, nevermind, it was just a poster.

Followed by a jar of (probably dirty) spoons. Wow, the repo-man really got them where it hurts.

Albina returns from work dressed in a circus tent, which means that she's got another bun in the oven.

The twins grow up!

They're both "diaper-fillers," which is rather impressive for the children of two formerly institutionalized sims. Also, Auggie still likes being bald.

The boys wanted some toys and things, so I gave the house a very minor makeover.

Here's their room! The sheets on the bottom bunk bed always look that way at night; I'm not sure why.

Bastian: "Look at me! Look...!"

Okay, I'm looking. What is it?

Bastian: "I'm a dick!"

Ahem, sorry. Doesn't it just look like he's proudly thinking "I'm a dick!"? Or is that just me?

Pink rings! I was never able to capture them so clearly on my old computer. :)

They both wanted to dance with someone. I thought it was cute. :3

Otto the repo-man is back! Whatcha gonna suck up this time, Otto?

In a classic, timeless repo-man move, he takes the toilet.

One of the twins brought Nora (

inkstaind_stars) home from school. She's a little nerd-let in my game.

And look, it's Justice! (by

upendoaushi) Lookin' leggy, Justice. She must be back on the modeling circuit, starving herself again.

Now it's time for the next weekly challenge!

Roll 1-1: Uncontrollable Urges: designate one sim (and only one) that you can control for a sim week. All other sims cannot be checked on/controlled at any time for the duration of that week - not even to give them makeovers.

So it's like a mini-ISBI, eh? Well, that's easy - I'll be using Albina as the controllable, since she's pregnant. She'll also have to try to fulfill everyone's "wants" this week.

The boys both wanted to do their homework, so this meant the only way they could do it was if Albina offered to "help."

Albina was so eager to help that she actually continued to lecture when her water broke.

Albina: "Bastian, what you see now is an example of the birds and the bees...watch closely, because there will be a quiz later!"

Bastian: "Um gross."

Albina: "WTF is with your timing? Go back to Blue Man Group practice or wherever you came from."

The bundle of joy is another boy: Crispin. Eight spends several sim hours just smiling and holding him. I would prefer he spend his time doing more productive things, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Lil' Mimi (by

charterzard) swings on by for a game of chess.

Sigrid (by

bondchick_nett) does not swing by for anything; in fact, she hurries on past because she wants nothing to do with these people, I suspect.

Auggie is either very glitched, very lazy, or both, because for some reason he can't walk ANYWHERE unless it's on perfectly flat terrain. It gets old very fast.

Crispin doesn't stay an infant for long, because infants are boring.

I don't know what to say, except that I hope he grows into those features.

Perhaps this borders on the "so homely it's cute" territory?

Auggie decided not to go to school and because I couldn't control him, there was no way to force him. As punishment, he has to be tutored by his nearly-naked mother.

Left to their own devices, the twins always, ALWAYS pick their parents bed.

Auggie quickly shows himself to be a bastard, which isn't too surprising, given he has only 1 nice point (Bastian has 4 or 5).

Eight still holds Crispin all the time; the youngest is definitely his favorite.

Hey! You were supposed to be my competent nanny! And now you're using up all the food in the house.

Well, at least she didn't burn it.

GUH! Nothing captures my heart more than spontaneous-toddler-dancing!

Except maybe spontaneous-child-dancing!

Auggie: "Look dad! This move is called 'I crapped on the floor'!"

Hey Appottomax! (by

charterzard) Been sleeping in your own filth lately? You can make that satisfied face all you want, but no one's forgotten how many times you used to pee yourself back at the Group Hug Group Home.

The twins are already about to become teens! I don't know why I didn't take very many pictures during their childhood, except that not much, apparently, happened.

It looks like Bastian put on red eyeliner...

Crispin grows up the same day, while Albina's co-worker toots a lone horn.

Here's Auggie.

Auggie: What? I still like being bald...got a problem with that?

Bastian looks asian to me, for some reason?

Eight: I AM LONELY! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME PLAY WITH ANYONE??"

Dude, I can't control you this week, and when left to your own devices all you do is play the guitar, non-stop.

4 out of 5 sims in this house have ZERO neat points, and Albina only has 3.

Auggie: "Look, Ma! I took out the trash! Can I have money for a cell-phone now?"

Dumping rubbish on the already-full trash bin does not count as "taking out the trash."

Man-maid: That bald kid is a dick...

Crispin likes to show off when people are trapped behind walls and can't really see him.

Auggie: "WHOA, that was awesome! I mean, I couldn't really see it, trapped behind the wall and all, but it sounded awesome, like you really stuck that landing!"

Oh, and here's child-Crispin, by the way. He's still funny-looking. Also, it looks like Eight's nose breeds very dominant.

And speaking of Eight, what has he been up to during this period when I have no control over him?

Making out with Havanna Lexy (

bondchick_nett) on the beach. :|

I didn't even know that she had shown up! You might recall, however, that Albina stole her plate of food back in the first update... apparently, if you steal Havanna's food, she will retaliate by stealing your man. :|

Also, those are her glitched cat ears, floating over yonder.

Oh for eff's sake. How long were you two making out before I caught you?

Albina's wifey-senses must have been tingling, because as soon as she came home she tracked Eight down to flirt with him. Havanna was still on the lot, but she slunk away soon after.

Auggie: "EFF YOU AND YOUR PUZZLES I AM TRYING TO EAT."

Everything about Auggie is very "capslock."

Bastian: *cough cough* I think someone poisoned me...

Yeah, you poisoned yourself. I know I didn't make you eat that fly-infested stuff.

Auggie: "HEY LOOK MY MOM IS IN HER UNDERWEAR!"

Byron (by

quellasims) fell for it, but then again, Albina really was in her underwear, as usual.

And we'll end this update with something rather shocking: Eight CLEANING. AUTONOMOUSLY. It honestly shocked me more than his make-out session with Havanna.

See you next time!

Starring sims by:

dorkasaur_sims and

boolpropbea.

Featuring sims by:

charterzard,

quellasims,

bondchick_nett,

upendoaushi,

inkstaind_stars, and

xie_belle.